April 22, 2007

Gen 26:12 33

Two incidents here that Isaac could have avoided if he had listened to godly counsel from his dad...if dad indeed told him, as most dads are full apt to do.
“Son, I have been there and done that, DON’T”

Let me talk to dads again here for a moment: Do you remember the story “ the boy who cried wolf?

Dads, if you harp on your kids about everything they will soon shut you off just as the villagers did with that boy.

As dads we have a holy calling from God, as we saw a few weeks ago, to raise our children of God and be a godly example...did you know of instance that when God says Don’t do that, he generally (not always) gives a reason?

Like “Adam, don’t eat the fruit..” Uh why God..because it’s deadly, you will die.”
But when our children ask us a reason...we fly off the handle and say “BECAUSE I SAID SO” which, as any fool knows is really a very poor reason. If you have lovingly corrected your kids, then you are more apt to have their ear when you advise later (no guarantees).

Patsy Clairmont said concerning her discipline with her little boy:

She had a bit of a temper and often exploded all over the place when it was time to discipline. So she started to realize this was a NO-NO and she ought to do something about it. So each time the little tyke would do something worthy of banishment forever and ever she'd stop instead of exploding and say, WAIT, let's pray. Then her discipline would be properly balanced. Well, junior sure did like this better, Oh he still got what was coming to him, but mommy was a lot nicer. WELL, one day He pushed her over the edge, did something that got her furious...and she began to blow her top..and she was bearing down on him like a steam train..and suddenly the little goober stopped and looked up with frightened wide eyes and said ...MOM, WE BETTER PRAY. Doncha love it?

Sometimes we overreact and when we do, it impresses those brilliant little minds. For instance, how do you handle "naughty words"? Of course you don't allow them, but HOW do you handle them?

I recall Tyler's first foray into picturesque speech, I don't know where he got it from, but we were throwing wood into our basement in Newport, and I was somewhere else (as usual) and Christi came to find me about to bust a gusset with laughter, She and little 3 yr old chunk Tyler T Tuff were rolling some bigger chunks toward the window when that little guy looked at her and said," that's a hell of a big stick huh, maw?"

Wisely my wife didn't fly into a tizzy, she just said, well, Tyler, its a big stick OK but we don't use Hell that way, its a place and people don't like to hear us talk like that. No BIG SCENE just quiet explanation. How often do WE make issues when we could make bonds?

Dads and Moms, it is so very important that we discipline, but it must be fair and consistent and reasonable.

Another area where we lack in our families is LISTENING to our families. I am the chief bone head when it comes to that, Oh, not all the time, but it sometimes becomes so easy to snap judge and speak before I hear the whole story.

I should remember to get all the facts before I shoot off my mouth. It reminds me of the man who owned a hardware store, and his clerks were always told to say when out of something, "It's on order and we'll have it Tuesday". Well, the owner walked up behind one clerk as he was saying, "No ma'am, we haven't had any for a while and it doesn't look like we will for a while either." The owner was livid. Ma'am, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about, now what is it we haven't had? I'll see to it that its here Tuesday"!" RAIN", the startled woman replied.

I really regret not listening like that, don't you? Let me tell you people, they will be gone before you know it and you'll be wishing they were here to listen to you. So take time to listen now.

The Bible says," let everyone be swift to hear and slow to speak, slow to wrath", and that begins, or is supposed to begin at HOME. So listen to your children. The other thing we need to listen to is our own words.

Parents, do you listen to what you say? (Borrowed from Ken Davis) "DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?" I dare not say that to my kids - you aren't exactly a rocket scientist dad.

And when we get right in their face and YELL," DO YOU HEAR ME?" what if they said ,"Whaddya say?'" OF COURSE I HEAR YOU DUFUS YOU ARE RIGHT IN MY FACE"

And oh so often we say things that cut and hurt...but to our children we have the same responsibility as to other brothers and sisters in Jesus, "let your speech be always with grace...Col.4:6; or Eph 4:29 let not corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth BUT that which is good to the use of building up that it may minister grace to the hearers.

Why is it that I exempted my kids from that sometimes?

Why is it that we will give more respect to a stranger than to the ones who LOVE us and we say we love?

I need to point out something here, The only things you can take to heaven with you are those kids, wife and other people. You cannot take your job or money or PTA or golf or any other thing but people (and my toy trains)...so where should you invest your time energy and money?

Listen, if the mark of the followers of Jesus is LOVE then the mark of the followers of Jesus must be love at home first.

Now that ‘s the warm up. The diatribe for dads...but let's look at the text now and see the indications of not following dad’s advice.

We note that Isaac did as dad did:

Went to Abimelech, lied about his wife and tried to live there, he had to make a treaty with Abimelech concerning water rights as his father had before him...instead of relying on lessons learned, he had to learn them himself.

Now here is a lesson here and that is what I want you kids to get...you really can learn from that “rocket scientist”. You really can learn from the mistakes your parents made ,,,IF and that's the operative word here IF YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION.

Your parents ever say" I have lived a long time and I KNOW what can happen, and I am trying to protect you from that.

And let me guess, you said Hmmmh..and went on to do it anyway? After all they are old and have not got it together...Here is where you make a mistake kiddo...you should listen.

God said so...In the Bible...In Ephesians 6 right before he gives the dads their marching orders: 1 -3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

See, if you do what they say they won’t have to kill you like they threatened to last time you got them ticked.

Cooperation goes miles further than rebellion. Now listen to some other places where God talks about kids listening to their parents.

Pr 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Pr 4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.

Pr 13:1 A wise son [heareth] his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

Pr 15:5 A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

Pr 15:20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

In 1st Samuel 2: 22 Now Eli , (remember him? The old priest that raised Samuel? The one that God gave a message to from Samuel? Oh You remember, when Samuel was asleep and a voice woke him up? And he said “speak Lord for thy servant heareth?...And the message was that God was going to zap Eli’s kids because they were misbehaving?) Well Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled [at] the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

And he said to them, Why are you doing these things? man, I hear of your evil dealings from EVERYBODY.

This is not good, my sons; for [it is] no good report that I hear: you make the LORD'S people to transgress. if one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him? BUT.....and it’s a big but...but they did not pay attention to the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them.

Man oh man...do you know what happened to those two boys who wouldn’t listen? I’ll tell you.

In chapter three the Philistines (Abimelech’s grand kids) are at war with Israel and they are winning and listen:10-17 ¶ And the Philistines fought, and Israel was smitten, and they fled every man into his tent: and there was a very great slaughter; for there fell of Israel thirty thousand footmen. 11 And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were slain.

12 ¶ And there ran a man of Benjamin out of the army, and came to Shiloh the same day with his clothes rent, and with earth upon his head.

13 And when he came, lo, Eli sat upon a seat by the wayside watching: for his heart trembled for the ark of God. And when the man came into the city, and told [it], all the city cried out.

14 And when Eli heard the noise of the crying, he said, What [meaneth] the noise of this tumult? And the man came in hastily, and told Eli.

15 Now Eli was ninety and eight years old; and his eyes were dim, that he could not see. 16 And the man said unto Eli, I [am] he that came out of the army, and I fled to day out of the army. And he said, What is there done, my son?
17 And the messenger answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead,

What a sad end for two men who could have had a high position in the land. who could have, had they obeyed God and listened to their father. God promises things to those who don’t listen to their parents...but he also promises things to those who DO listen...

In Ephesians 6:3 he says you will live long it will be well with you, did you know that statistics tell us that children who have a good relationship with their parents are much more likely to have a happy fulfilling marriage; they are better adjusted and free to use their emotional and mental energy for constructive purposes--they are not controlled and consumed by resentment and bitterness against and reaction to their parents. This sets them free to be really productive and constructive.

Two words that are used a lot in reference to a child’s responsibility to the parents are “obey” and “honor.”

How is it that you as a child are obeying God by fulfilling these in your home?
I have a list of helps here for you and if you want to really have a peaceful home life and more than that please God, you will take these to heart.

a. Make a list of what your parents expect of you in every aspect o life--at home. school, spiritually, speech, attitudes, dating, etc. b. Do you obey your parents in everything? (Colossians
3:20)
c. do you honor your parents? (attitude and spirit here as well as actions and behavior; when you show disrespect, stubbornness, ingratitude, uncooperativeness, resentment, bitterness or contempt, you are not honoring your parents) . Do your parents and others know that you really appreciate and respect them? Examine your attitudes and speech; what you say and what you don’t say as you think about this.

d. Plan at least 10 ways to honor your parents. Make a list and begin to implement that as soon as you can.
e. Proverbs 10:1()
list some ways you make your parents glad.
list some ways you bring them grief.
How can you adapt to bring them more happiness?
examine your attitude, speech, behavior, use of money time and your habits.

Isaac could have had a much more peaceable life had he listened to his dad...avoided his mistakes...so can you.

Even if the old guy is imperfect-which we are-he’s still been around. Even if Mom seems ancient-and she's not-she has still been alive long enough to know a few things.

Kids, the greatest thing you can do is honor your parents now.
Make the most of these years to build a strong relationship for the future.
Granted parents are loony; they teach you to talk and walk then they want you to sit still and be quiet...

But for all that, God gave them to you to build you into the person he wants you to become...
One of the first things that any one notices in a backward country is that children obey their parents...hmmm wouldn’t it be good if we got a little backward?
Children Obey your parents..honor your mother and father that it may be well with thee.

Though they surely are imperfect though they just don’t understand though they often treat you like a child although your ‘most a man though they blunder and act foolish when your friends come by sometimes please be patient...it’s your benefit those old fools have in mind.
they recall the foolish blunders that they made when they were young and hope to save you from a few and when their life is done ...why then you will remember and then you’ll understand and then you’ll try to teach your kids what you learned from your “old man”.

AMEN

*(1)©1980 Wayne Mack. “A Homework Manual For Biblical Counseling” Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Co., Phillipsburg, NJ 08865